Domestic Abuse Information
Examples of Abusive Behavior
Emotional/Verbal Abuse
Emotional abuse can be difficult to describe and is sometimes very subtle. Here are some examples:
- Ridicules opinions and beliefs
- Continually criticizes or calls names
- Humiliates in public or private
- Threatens harm or suicide if relationship ends
- Lies/contradicts, plays mind games
- Transfers blame ("if you wouldn't _____, then I wouldn't have to _____"
- Withholds access/information about family finances
- Destroys property or threatens to kill pets
Physical Abuse
Some assaults show marks or bruising, although some abusers try not to leave visible wounds. Here are some examples:
- Pushes, kicks, or bites
- Hits, slaps, or punches
- Throws objects or destroys property
- Locks partner out of home
- Refuses to help when partner is ill or injured
- Uses weapons against partner
- Abandons partner in dangerous situations
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is common in violent relationships. It is often the most difficult aspect of abuse to talk about. Remember that forced sex is against the law whether or not the attacker is your husband. Here are some examples of sexual abuse.
- Forces unwanted sexual acts on partner
- Accuses partner of cheating
- Insists partner dress in sexual manner
- Commits painful or cruel acts
- Constantly criticizes partner sexually
- endangers partner's health with unprotected sex
- Does your partner force you to view pornography?
Remember that if your partner has sex with other people and then has unprotected sex with you, you are at risk of getting HIV and other STD's. If you think you may be in this situation, please see your doctor or health care professional. Information shared with medical personnel is confidential.
Spiritual Abuse
It is very frustrating when an abuser tries to use a woman's faith to justify his abusive behavior. There are many books and resources that deal with faith and domestic abuse. Here are some examples of spiritual abuse:
- Quotes scripture to justify abusive, dominating, or other oppressive behaviors
- Forces partner to violate religious beliefs
- Prevents partner from attending church
Signs that Indicate the Potential for Lethal Abuse
These questions can help you be aware of signs of life-threatening danger. Please refer to the Safety Planning section immediately if these factors are present.
- Does he own a gun?
- Have you left him after living together in the past year?
- Is he unemployed?
- Does he threaten to kill you?
- Does he use illegal drugs or abuse alcohol?
- Does he ever try to choke you?
- Do you believe he is capable of killing you?
Excerpt from Danger Assessment by Jacquelyn C. Campbell, PhD, RN, FAAN. Copyright 2004, Johns hopkins University, School of Nursing.
