Domestic Abuse Information

How Will I Know if He's Really Changing?

Only your partner can make the decision to change. Signs that indicate he may be taking responsibility for his abuse and attempting to change include:

• He is no longer violent or threatening (to you or others)
• You don't feel afraid
• He no longer blames you for his behavior
• He listens to what you have to say and respects your opinion, even if he doesn't agree with it
• He takes responsibility for his abusive behavior and accepts that change is a lifelong process
• You don't have to get his permission in order to see friends, get a job, go to school, or act independently in other ways
• He acknowledges that his abusive behavior is wrong
• He understands that his abuse has affected you and accepts the consequences of his behavior
• He no longer lives by double standards (he can express anger but you can't, he can go out all weekend but you have to stay home, etc)
• He understands that he can't control you
• He no longer ___________ (Fill in the blank with any behavior that used to happen when he became abusive)