Domestic Abuse Information
The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children
Children who live in homes with domestic abuse may need help because of experiencing direct abuse or witnessing abuse.
Children who live in homes where violence takes place may exhibit a number of common reactions. These include:
- Fear
- Anxiety
- Depression and sadness
- Loss of hope for the future
- Act out aggressively, act tough, provoke fights
- School problems including difficulty learning, concentrating, and remembering material
- Social isolation, difficulty making friends
- Difficulty trusting others
- Sleep problems, afraid to sleep alone
- Nightmares
- Stress-related health problems such as headaches, stomachaches, and fatigue
- Act impulsively
- Withdraw, show little emotion
Experiences in childhood can have a long-lasting effect, and as adults, children who witness domestic violence often continue to suffer. They may:
- Commit crimes/delinquency
- Commit violence and/or abuse
- Have alcohol and other drug problems
- Suffer from depression
- Have low self-esteem
In addition to the emotional turmoil that witnessing domestic violence can cause, it may also endanger children. Children may:
- Attempt to intervene during the violence
- Get hurt during the domestic violence
- Have unmet needs
- Be threatened
Parents can help children cope with the overwhelming emotions they experience after witnessing domestic violence. Parents should attempt to:
- Create an environment that is safe and predictable
- Make an extra effort to establish and keep structure and routine
- Be extra nurturing and comforting
- Teach children appropriate ways to respond when they feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, worried and/or anxious
- Encourage physical play every day
- Reduce exposure to violent or scary TV, movies and videogames
- Limit child's intake of caffeine, encourage children to drink water
- Establish distinct boundaries within the family
- Let children know when you are running late/will be home late
- Give children choices
- Be patient with difficulties in concentration, completing school work and other tasks
- Avoid physical punishment/ avoid responding to children in anger or ways that result in them feeling fearful
- Provide safe ways for children to display their anger
- Provide soothing activities before bedtime
Children can learn to stay safe. Parents should teach their children to:
- Keep away from the fighting
- Get out of the home safely
- Find a trusted adult to talk to
- Go to a neighbor's home or other safe place
- Know their name, address and phone number
- Call 911
It is important for children to know that:
- The violence is never their fault
- Violence by one parent against the other is never OK
- You want them to be safe and they should not intervene
- They are not alone
