kent county dvccrt

Domestic Abuse Information

Safety Planning

Whether you have decided to stay in your relationship or leave, there are things that you can do to help keep yourself safe. The following are some ideas that may be useful for you.

Safety Planning While In the Relationship

• Plan different escape routes from your house should your partner become violent, and plan where to go if you need to stay away overnight.
• Hide spare keys and important documents in places where they are safe and where you could grab them and leave quickly.
• Try to get out of dangerous places during arguments (such as the kitchen where there are knives and other sharp objects the abuser could use to assault you).
• Obtain a private post office box or use another address for confidential mail.
• Set code words with friends, relatives, or your children that indicate an emergency. Plan how they are to respond if you say the code word in person or over the phone.
• Keep a working phone in a room with a door that locks so that you can call for help in an emergency.
• Have access to a phone, keep a cell phone charged at all times.
• Open a secret bank account so that you will have access to funds should you need to flee.
• Contact a domestic abuse program. You may use shelter or non-residential services.

Safety Planning When the Relationship is Over

• Obtain a restraining order/PPO and keep a copy with you at all times and leave additional copies in your home, vehicles and workplace.
• Take a different route to work or school, shop at a different store, and use a different bank.
• Photocopy important documents.
• Change or re-key your locks or install a security system.
• Document incidents and/or file a police report.
• Carry a cell phone (Keep it charged, even if it has no minutes).
• Teach your children how to dial 911 from home and cell phones.
• Contact a domestic abuse program.

Safety Planning in the Workplace

(used with permission from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, www.ncadv.org)

• Notify your supervisor and the human relations manager about the circumstances regarding your situation.
• Discuss options available to you , e.g., scheduling, safety pre-cautions, employee/family assistance benefits.
• Submit a recent photo of the perpetrator to your safety man¬ager in the event of a confrontation at work.
• Request that all information be treated with confidence to provide for your safety and well-being.

Safety Planning With Your Children

Children can learn to stay safe. Parents should teach their children to:

• Get out of the home safely
• Find a trusted adult to talk to
• Go to a neighbor's home or other safe place
• Know their name, address and phone number
• Call 911

Supervised Parenting Time and Safe Child Exchange

If you are concerned for your safety during parenting time ex¬changes, the court can sometimes make referrals for professional supervised parenting time and safe exchanges of children that will allow both parties to avoid contact with one another. See chapter three, YWCA Safe Connections Program.

Internet Safety

(used with permission from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, www.ncadv.org)

WARNING-Taking all of the following actions may not prevent an abuser from discovering you email and Internet activity. The safest way to find information on the Internet is to go to a safer computer. Some suggestions are your local library, a friend's house, or your workplace. Other safety suggestions: Change your password, and make sure to include a combination of letters and numbers for your password.

HOW AN ABUSER CAN TRACK YOUR ACTIVITIES

If an abuser has access to your email account, he may be able to read your incoming and outgoing mail. Even if you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password he will not be able to guess.

If an abuser sends you threatening or harassing email messages, you can print and save them as evidence of this abuse. These messages may also constitute a federal offense. For more in¬formation on this issue, contact your local United States Attorney's Office.

ERASING YOUR TRACKS

If an abuser knows how to read your internet browser's history, he may be able to see information you have viewed on the internet. In addition to your browser tracking the sites you visit, a record of what where you have been on the internet may be found in programs integrated into your browser such as Java, Flash and search toolbars, and internet-related hardware such as servers and routers. Most new browsers include a private browsing feature in which internet history is not tracked within the browser on your computer, but such a feature does eliminate the possibility that an abuser can track what websites you have visited through other means, such as some of those stated above. Also, deleting all or parts of the browser history might make an abuser suspicious. Again, it is best to use a computer at your local library, a friend's house, or your workplace.

Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 and 8

At the top of the Internet Explorer window, click on the Tools Menu (or the Safety button on IE 8), then click on Delete Browsing History. You can select what to erase by checking the boxes for history, cookies, etc. Then, click Delete.

Private Browsing Mode: Click on the Safety Button, then click on InPrivate Browsing.

Older Internet Explorer versions:At the top of the Internet Explorer window, click on the Tools Menu, then click on Internet Options. On the General tab under Temporary Internet Files, click on Delete Files. If asked, check the box to delete all offline content. Still within the Temporary Internet Files section, click on Setting (this step may make it harder to navigate pages where you would like your information to be remembered, but these remaining cookies do show website pages you have visited. Therefore, use your own judgment as to whether or not to take this next step). Click on View Files, manually highlight all the files (cookies) shown, then hit delete. Close that window, then on the General tab under History click on Clear History.

Mozilla Firefox 3.5 and 3.6

At the top of the Firefox window, click on the Tools menu, then click on Clear Recent History. In the Clear Recent History window, you can select the time range which you want to erase (last hour, last two hours, last four hours, all the previous hours of the day or everything). You can select what to erase by checking the boxes for history, cookies, etc. Then, click Clear History.

Private Browsing Mode: Click on the Tools menu, then click on Start Private Browsing.

Google Chrome

At the top of the Chrome window, click on the Wrench button, then click on Clear Browsing Data. In the Clear Browsing Data window, you can select the time range which you want to erase (last day, last week, last 4 days or everything). You can select what to erase by checking the boxes for history, cookies, etc. Then, click Clear Browsing Data.

Private Browsing Mode: Click on the Wrench button, then click on New Incognito Window.

Apple Safari

Click on the History menu, then click on Clear history.

Netscape

Click on the Edit menu, then Preferences, then on Navigator or choose Clear History, then Advanced and then select Cache. Click on Clear Disk Cache.

AOL

Click on the Members menu, then click on Preferences. Click on WWW icon and then then select Advanced. Purge Cache.