Resources for Men

Gender Violence: What can men do?

1. Recognize and change our own our misogynistic beliefs, attitudes, and behavior.
2. Challenge men who subjugate, belittle, abuse or control women, and encourage them to get help.
3. Avoid blaming the victim and hold the abuser accountable.
4. Tell victims of gender violence, "It's not your fault," and "You have a right not be violated."
5. Call the police when we become aware of domestic violence.
6. Approach gender violence as a men's issue.
7. Advocate group treatment and discourage couple counseling for abusive men.
8. Talk about gender violence and act as role models for youth, exhibiting respect and egalitarianism in our relationships with women.
9. Raise awareness about domestic abuse, including the need to call the police in our neighborhood associations and other groups.
10. Encourage education and discussion of gender inequality, abuse, and oppressive social structures in our families, places of worship, work-settings.
11. Confront and report men who engage in sexual harassment.
12. Confront degrading jokes about women.
13. Refrain from using or supporting the pornography industry and other media that objectifies, oppresses, or maligns women.
14. Unlearn our habit of looking at women as objects.
15. Avoid using women sexually for self-aggrandizement, and challenge men who do.
16. Expand the definition of being a provider for our families to include nurturing.
17. Support and participate in men's personal growth activities and movements.
18. Work to raise our sons and other boys to be compassionate and socially conscious in order to help them create respectful relationships and safe communities.
19. Support anti-bullying interventions in our schools.
20. Become more emotionally connected to other men, working to develop intimacy with both men and women.
21. Support organizations, community activities, and legislation that empower women.
22. Reach out to female friends and colleagues who are being harassed or abused.
23. Confront homophobia and, more specifically, accusations of homosexuality that are used to silence men who speak out against gender.
24. Speak out, remembering that our complacency and silence contributes to gender violence.
25. Develop our full humanity, establish respectful lives, and create safe and caring communities.

What can men do about domestic abuse toward women?

• Confront degrading jokes regarding women
• Not use or support the pornography industry
• Recognize and change our own abusive and/or controlling behavior
• Avoid blaming the victim
• Work to hold the abuser accountable
• Support the empowerment of women
• Develop our humanity
• Become more emotionally connected to other men
• Talk about and role model to youth egalitarian and respectful relationships with women
• Challenge men who are abusive or controlling to their partners
• Call the police when becoming aware of domestic abuse
• Tell victims of domestic abuse, "it's not your fault", "you have a right to not be abused"
• Educate others about domestic abuse
• Encourage discussion of domestic abuse in your church, workplace, family, etc.
• Support domestic violence legislation
• Raise awareness about domestic abuse and the need to call the police in your neighborhood association
• Unlearn objectifying of women
• Get out of your gender straightjacket
• Heal rather than hurt our partners
• Avoid derogatory language
• Support anti-bullying intervention in your schools
• Don't put young boys and girls in gender straightjackets
• Confront and report sexual harassment
• Support legislation and cultural activities that empower women
• Support and participate in men's personal growth activities and movements
• Expand the definition of being a provider for your family to include nurturing
• Develop intimacy in your life

Additional Resources

• Boys will be Boys
• Center Hopes to Define What it Means to be a Man
• No One Wins
• She Saw Some Changes in Me