FAQ's Regarding Child Sexual Behavior and Abuse Among Children
Questions and Answers
- What is considered sexual abuse among children?
- Is this a problem in our community?
- Why do children act-out sexually?
- What are signs of molestation?
- Who commits sexual crimes?
- Why does the family court favor treatment over punishment?
- What are the most common risk factors?
- What is normal sexual curiosity and behavior?
- What is the law concerning children and sexual behavior?
- How does the sexual offender registry affect children?
What is considered sexual abuse among children?
The following could be considered sexually abusive events for a child:
- Hearing adults or older children talking specifically about sex.
- Hearing requests to perform sexual acts, or receiving graphic comments about body parts.
- Seeing sexual acts on television, in a movie or actually happening.
- Any unwanted sexual touching, or penetration.
- Hearing sexual acts being preformed.
- Being asked by someone older to sexually touch someone else.
- Unnecessary exposure to an older person's private parts.
Is this a problem in our community?
Yes. The ASOTP Program of the 17th Circuit Court receives over 100 referrals a year to assess and treat young people who have sexually abused others. In 2003 about twenty percent of all children made formal wards of the court and placed on probation had that action taken in response to a criminal sexual charge.
Why do children act out sexually?
Children rarely act out sexually due to being exclusively sexually attracted to other children (i.e. pedophilia). Our society has many hurtful, negative words to describe or label persons who have sexually acted out. These labels generally don't apply in the case of children and adolescents.
Most often, the children we work with have acted out sexually due to having very limited knowledge of sex and not having had an open and honest discussion with an appropriate adult regarding sexual issues. This leaves many young people with questions regarding sexual behavior that they attempt to work out for themselves in a way that is hurtful to another.
Unfortunately, the limited knowledge many young people we work with have is derived from sources in popular culture such as television, movies, pop music and often through viewing pornography; none of which depicts realistic sexual relationships. Unfortunately, these sources paired with the jokes and stories told by peers and the absence of a real and honest discussion with parents can create a foundation wherein an adolescent or child may attempt to experience sexual activity at the expense of another.
Pornography's role in adolescents' decisions to act out sexually cannot be underestimated. Every teen referred to the program since 2000 had some exposure to pornography, while less than thirty percent self disclosed being victimized themselves sexually (research utilizing polygraphs conducted with admitted teen sex offenders suggests strongly teenagers under report the number of times they've acted out and the number of victims they have, but over report their own victimization).
What are signs of molestation?
Some signs might include:
- Changes in behavior, extreme mood swings, withdrawal, fearfulness, and excessive crying
- Bed-wetting, nightmares, fear of going to bed, or other sleep disturbances
- Acting out inappropriate sexual activity or showing an unusual interest in sexual matters
- A sudden acting out of feelings or aggressive or rebellious behavior
- Regression to infantile behavior; clinging
- School or behavioral problems
- Changes in toilet-training habits
- A fear of certain places, people, or activities
- Bruises, rashes, cuts, limping, multiple or poorly explained injuries
- Pain, itching, bleeding, fluid, or rawness in the private areas
If you observe any of these behaviors, talk to your child about the causes. Behavioral changes such as these may be due to causes other than sexual exploitation such as a medical, family, or school problem. Also keep in mind that sometimes children do not always demonstrate obvious signs such as these but may do or say something that hints at the exploitation.
Information adapted from Just in Case...Parental guidelines in case you are considering daycare and Parental guidelines in case your child might someday be a victim of sexual exploitation. Copyright © respectively 1989 and 2003 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. All rights reserved.
Who commits sexual crimes?
Sexual offenses and the children that commit them cannot be paired with any variable. This behavior occurs within all socioeconomic, geographic, racial, and religious groups. We do know that more offenders than not are likely to be trustworthy in all other areas of their lives, good students both academically and behaviorally, respectful of adult authority figures, rules and laws, have no substance abuse histories, no delinquent history; but also likely to be socially awkward, shy, and unable to connect well or successfully with their peers.
Why does the family court favor treatment over punishment?
There are multiple reasons that treatment is favored over punishment.
First, treatment has been shown to be more effective in ensuring that the behavior does not continue. While punishment is often enticing, it does nothing to ensure the offender does not re-offend upon release. Fewer than 7% of the young people referred to the court for treatment are referred again for a sexual crime. Re-offense rates for those who are simply incarcerated are much higher.
Secondly, treatment is much more cost effective than punishment. For example, if every young person referred to the ASOTP program in 2003 were sent to an institution rather than receiving treatment in the community, the overall cost to the tax payers of the county would have been approximately $13.3 million.
Finally, all treatment within the community concludes with an overture to the victim and their family for an apology session. This can often do more than any other response to help heal the harm the offender initially visited upon their victim.
What are the most common risk factors?
Exposure to domestic violence has been linked more often than any other life event to a child acting out sexually.
Being sexually victimized themselves; particularly if the child as a victim:
- Experienced such as physically pleasurable (touching offenses)
- Feels responsible for its occurrence
- Elects for any number of reasons not to disclose and consequently receives no treatment or counseling for such.
- Exposure to pornography.
- Absent parental figures.
- Frequent moves, familial instability or caregiver instability.
- Accessibility of victims, i. e. teenage male children residing in or often present at a private home daycare.
What is normal sexual curiosity and behavior?
Healthy, normal preschool age sexuality:
- Touches/rubs own genitals
- Asks about breasts, genitals, babies
- Erections
- Plays "doctor" or "house"
Behaviors of concern in preschool age children:
- Continued genital touching in public after being told to stop
- Attempts to touch the private parts of strangers
- Staring at nude people
- Continues playing "doctor" after requests to stop
- Putting objects in genitals or rectums after being told to stop
- "Humping" other children while both are dressed
Consider seeking professional help if a preschool age child is:
- Touching themselves to the exclusion of normal childhood activities
- Demanding to be touched, sneakily attempting to touch adults
- Trying to undress others
- Forcing children to play "doctor"
- Using force/coercion to put objects in other children's genitals or rectums
- Simulating or attempting real sexual acts
Healthy, normal elementary school age children:
- Takes advantage of opportunities to see nude people
- Attempts to put something in genitals or rectum once
- Attempts to touch the private parts of familiar adults
- Pretends to be opposite gender
Behaviors of concern in elementary school age children:
- Wants to be opposite gender
- Attempts to engage in sexual acts
- Fearful or upset with normal public displays of affection
- Touching animals sexually
- Sexually accurate or explicit drawings
Consider seeking professional help for elementary school age children:
- Hates own gender
- Overly familiar with strangers, talks and acts in a sexualized manner with unknown adults
- Any sexual acts without clothing
- Consistent sexualized and specific talk
- Sexual acts with animals
What is the law concerning children and sexual behavior?
The primary laws related to sexual behavior are:
- Both persons engaging in the sexual behavior must be at least 16 years old. Also, one person cannot have power or authority over the other by nature of their occupation or relationship to the other. (i.e. why a teacher or coach cannot be sexual with a student even though both may be over 16 years old).
- Neither party may be related to one another.
- There can not be coercion of any kind. This means no bribery, blackmail, physical or emotional threat of harm, begging or abuse of authority. Also, a person under the influence of drugs or alcohol cannot consent to sexual activity.
How does the sexual offender registry affect children?
Legislation mandated that any child under seventeen but older than seven found guilty of or pleading to either CSC I or CSC II must be entered on the registry for private use and verify quarterly for life. Their entry moves to the public listings when they turn eighteen. Children of the same ages with respect to CSC III and CSC IV are placed on the private registry for twenty-five years and also must verify while on that list quarterly.
